Suicide Season
by MakingFrenchFriesInTheSnow
Summary: Becky struggles with the suicide of her boyfriend, Adam. Based off of the song, "Suicide Season" by Bring Me The Horizon.


**A/N: Another songfic attempt.**

**WOOO-FREAKIN-HOO. :(**

**This song is based off of the song "Suicide Season" by Bring Me the Horizon**

* * *

**_We stare at broken clocks, the hands don't turn anymore._**  
**_The days turn into nights, empty hearts and empty places._**  
**_The day you lost him, I slowly lost you too._**  
**_For when he died, he took a part of you._**

* * *

**Wednesday.**

The church was full of with the deceased's friends and family. Rebecca Baker sat in the front row of the church. Her eyes, watery, as she stared at the closed casket, which held the corpse of her boyfriend, Adam. She couldn't help, but think, "_this is all my fault." _And she was right; this was her fault.

**5 days ago. (Thursday.)**

_Adam and Becky lay on the couch of Adam's living room, in the middle of one their most powerful make out sessions. __Under Adam, Becky lays, running her fingers through Adam's thick, brown hair and continuously kissing him. __Adam, needing air, pulls up away from Becky and takes deep breaths. __Becky smiles._

_"Wow, Miss. Baker. Y__ou sure do know how leave a guy breathless." Adam joked._

_In a silly southern accent, she responded, "Oh, why thank you, Mr. Torres." __They both begin to giggle._

_Laughter dying out, Adam stares into Becky's blue eyes. __Just staring at her. In his eyes, she was a beauty. __He was everything he could ever want and more in a girlfriend. __Breaking the romanticism of his gaze at her, Becky takes a strand of her long, blonde hair and puts it above her upper lip, like a mustache. __He smiles and she let's go of the strand and lets it fall back down. __He leans down to kiss Becky again. S__he softly stokes his cheek. __He pulls away again. "I love you." he admits to Becky. In response, __Becky pulls him back to her and continues to kiss him. A__dam loved Becky's kisses, but he felt strange about this one. __Why hadn't she said it back? __Did this kiss mean that she felt the same way? Did it mean "I love you, too"?_

**3 days ago. (Saturday.)**

_Adam knocked on Becky's front door. __He'd never actually been over Becky's house, but he knew where she lived. __After a few knocks, someone answers.__It's Becky's dad, Reverend Baker. __He looks Adam up and down, Examining him. __"Yes." Reverend Baker said, glaring at Adam. __Mr. Baker wondered, who was this boy and why was he at his doorstep. __Reverend Baker was not aware that this boy was his daughter's boyfriend. He was unaware that his daughter even had a boyfriend._

_"Is Becky here?" Adam asked._

_"Why?" Reverend Baker shoots back, glaring at Adam. Adam was confused by Becky's father's attitude towards him. Why was he being so cold, Adam wondered, I'm his daughter's boyfriend. __Suddenly, Becky comes out from behind her dad and steps outside. _

_"Dad." she said, gesturing him to go back in the house so she an Adam could be alone. __Mr. Baker goes back inside._

_"What are you doing here?" Becky inquired, shutting the door._

_"Why didn't you introduce me to your dad?"_

_"No reason."_

_"But I'm your boyfr-..." Adam stops talking when he notices Becky look down. She looks ashamed. "Wait, he doesn't know. Does he?" _

_Becky doesn't answer him. __Adam repeats, "Does he?"_

_"No." she answers, softly._

_"Why not?"_

_Becky shrugs, "Can we talk about this, later?..."_

_No they could not talk about this later. Becky was hiding something and Adam knew what...Becky was hiding him; hiding the truth from her family. Adam was her secret boyfriend. __"Are you too ashamed to tell your family about me? About us?" Adam asks Becky._

_"No, Adam." Becky lied. Truth was, if word got out that the minister's perfect, Christian daughter was dating a female-to-male transgender, her and her family would be shunned by the Christian community and it'd all be because of her. Also, if her parents found out, she'd be grounded, indefinitely, forced not to see Adam again, and maybe, if possible, even sent to an all boys school so her parents could make sure that Becky ended up liking "real guys"._

_"I know you're lying." Adam states, "You're embarrassed of me, aren't you?"_

_"Adam..."_

_He knew what a softly spoken name followed by a pause meant; Becky was embarrassed of Adam. Not wanting to hear her talk anymore, Adam goes to his car and drives away, leaving Becky standing on her porch alone._

**1 day ago. (Monday.)**

_Becky was worried about Adam. She hadn't talked to him in two days, but she tried. But he hadn't responded to any of her texts or calls. Plus, he didn't show up for school today, and Becky knew that Adam had never missed a day of school. Never. Becky mind filled with questions: Why wasn't Adam here? Was it because of me? Our fight? Did he just not come to because he knew I'd be there and he couldn't stand to see my face?_

_After school, Becky went over to Adam's house to see if he was okay. She rang the doorbell and knocked on the door a few times. No one answered. Becky became even more worried now. Going to her last resort, she searched the porch for the spare key she knew that they had. Checking under the flower-pot, under the welcome mat, under the cushions of the porch chairs, she couldn't find it. She lets out a sigh. She glances at the top of the door frame and makes another attempt to find the spare key. Patting her hand around at the door frame, she feels it. The key. She grabs it and unlocks the door._

_The inside of the house is normal; just how she remembers. She cannot hear anything. No sound comes from inside the house. "Hello." she calls out, expecting to hear or see Adam in some way. She goes up the stairs and into Adam's room. Papers ripped and tossed all over his room, several holes into the walls, the bed was flipped over; Everything was trashed. Adam had destroyed his room. Looking around the room, she sees his desk was the only thing untouched. She walks over to the desk. On it was a single sheet of paper with words on it. It was a letter, a note._

**_Dear to whomever is reading this,_**

**_I guess you've found me._**

Becky knew what this not was. It was Adam's suicide note. Adam was dead and she didn't know where his body was, but she knew it was somewhere in the house. Maybe even his room. Afraid to look up, she continues to read the note.

_**I have written and rewritten this note over and over again. Still, I don't know what to say. Let me just start off by saying, I love my family and I am so sorry to do this to them. Mom, I love you and I'll miss you. That goes for Drew and Omar, too. Eli, Clare, Fiona, Dave, Alli, Jenna, and all the members Whisper Hug, you all have been such great friends to me and accepted me for who I was and I love you guys for that. And to Becky...I still love you. I will forever love you.**_

_**I guess I did this because I was tired of being judged by everyone. Not accepted. I just felt as if I should just leave. As if the world would be so much better without me and I would be so much better off without having to deal with all the judgemental people on this earth. This would be better. I would go to heaven and I would be welcomed. God would welcome mee with open arms and he'd say ," I love you, Adam. For who you are." I don't know, maybe something like that...**_

_**I'm not sure how to end this...**_

_**I was never very good at writting...**_

_**Farewell,**_

_**Adam Torres**_

_Becky set the note back down. She glances of to the closet. There he was; suspended from a belt. Adam Torres had hung himself over an hour ago. Becky covers her mouth, horrified by the image of Adam's lifeless body hanging 8 inches from the ground._


End file.
